European Vacation Part III - La Famiglia in Italy

Visiting relatives in Gubbio, Italy was actually the first leg of our trip in June of 2010, before going on to Macedonia and Greece. Somehow I missed posting this particular segment until now. It's been so long, I'd nearly forgotten the details. So, without further ado, and nearly two years later, here's the rest of the European Vacation story, Part III ~TR

Our trip to my ancestral home of Gubbio and Mocaiana, Italy was everything we expected and more! We landed first in Rome, and spent a night and half a day just wandering the small streets around the Colosseum. This was our warmup for the meet-up with all the relatives in Gubbio. I was able to get used to the language, try out a few key phrases I had practiced at home, (dove l'hotel?) and get acclimated to the new surroundings. We then took the train, and a bus right to the main square in the Umbrian hill town of Gubbio, where we found our lodging for the next few days: the Hotel Tre Ceri.

The Hotel Tre Ceri in Gubbio

Exploring the streets of Gubbio

The Palazzo dei Consoli
(Consuls Palace)

View of lower Gubbio from the Palazzo

CAPISCO

I shouldn't have worried about the language barrier, however. Even though I speak very little Italian, and Steve speaks none—he's a little better with Spanish, which became a humorous roundabout way for him to sneak in a few words here and there—we were immediately welcomed with open arms and hearts! We had such a wonderful time getting to know all the relatives in the countryside hamlet of Mocaiana, and touring the historical medieval town of Gubbio.

Cousin Liviana Bazurli Selvi and her family
picked us up in Gubbio for a visit to
Mocaiana, and to meet more of the
Bei and Bazurli families

Terry meets cousin Stefania for
the first time in 44 years!

Young cousins in front of their apartment
in the Bazurli family house.

Greeting the Bazurli family: (L-R) Norina,
Liviana, me, Lilo, and Alessandro

And we were able to communicate after all; cousins Stefania and Liviana spoke very good English. And there were times when I was able to pick up meanings because I had been around my Italian-born grandparents so much as a child.

 SO MANY HOMES TO VISIT

As warned by my Aunt, we were taken around to all the relatives' homes in Mocaiana for a short visit and a taste of each families' homemade wine. That's a little more vino in one day than I'm used to! We even got to see my grandfather's youngest brother, Pasquale—laid up and largely unable to respond to our presence, but getting excellent, loving care at home. He has since passed away, but he looked so much like my grandfather it was uncanny! It was a bittersweet greeting, but at the same time, I'm so grateful we got to see him.

Oh mamma mia! Homemade pasta!!

Just a simple lunch with family!

Alessandro and Annalisa had just heard
that a new baby was on the way

Granddaughter and her Nona

Nona Norina with her grandchildren

Many of the cousins had messages to pass on to my Aunt Betty. Cousin Noemi wanted me to tell her that her back is now much better since the last visit when she was hunched in pain like an old woman. Now she’s healed and lively as ever. Steve loved her energy and smile! Indeed, I saw no evidence that she had ever looked like a hunched old woman. Haha!

After open-heart surgery, cousin Lilo was looking great too, greeting us outdoors and showing us their renovated house. The house is now longer in length than I remember, and has been divided into three separate but attached homes, housing he and his wife, and the families of his daughter and son. Each apartment has two to three stories, with the smallest one reserved for the older couple, who no longer needed so much room. Lilo was able to join us with his family at both dinner and lunch the next day.

Nadia Bei, Lidia & Enio Bei
with me, and Nena Bei

 Then, we drove down the road to our other cousins' houses; Adriano and Giuliana, Guerriero and Betta, Oliviero and Noemi, Claudio, Enio, Fabio,  … the names are so familiar to me because I met them when I was ten on a visit with my grandparents.

The Guerriero and Betta Barzurli family

Lorenzo goofs it up with his cousin
Liviana and father Marco

Liviana and Guerriero flank me in front of
Guerriero's priceless view of Gubbio

The Bei Cousins –
Oliviero, Noemi, Claudio

The Bei home

TRADING TEARS FOR A PROMISE

All the cousins made us PROMISE to come back in five years! We had already promised cousins Adamo and Enio we’d go to Italy to visit while they were in America for the wedding of our cousin Katie in 2007—a promise which we kept. So now we’ll have to keep this promise too. Adriano and Lilo cried when we said our goodbyes despite our promise to try to return. They said they’d probably be gone and would never see us again ... apparently this is a common theme in much of the Italian countryside. I've heard the same lament many times myself. Of course, they're still around upon return, none the worse for wear!

Bei Family Tree for the
Adriano Bei branch (Giolivio Bei,
my grandfather, is one of
13 apples below Pasquale!)

Also duly noted: these people love to bestow gifts! After Stefania heard us talking about Steve’s love of American Indian pottery and ceramics, she gifted us with a large replica vase made in the ancient Etruscan style called "bucchero," which had belonged to her mother. And when cousin Alberto found out Steve was a stamp collector, he sent a collection of stamped and posted Gubbio Tre Ceri post cards from years past. We were generously offered vino, grappa and other gifts to take home too, but we had to decline. We told them our bags were full of things we were taking to our eldest daughter in Macedonia. (And that was truth!)

Visiting Il Teatro, an ancient
Roman colosseum in Gubbio

Emperor Steve tries his
interpretation of the signal to
finish the fight

Il Teatro

MEDIEVAL TIES

We learned a lot more about my grandparents' hometown:  The town of Gubbio takes pride in it's Roman and Medieval roots. Cousin Stefania, who is living in her parent's home in the old part of town, was planning to renovate her house. We were quite surprised at the amount she was going to have to spend in order to comply with the strict regulations and standards for renovating medieval buildings. Steve was blown away when she told him the house was probably built in the 13th century. There are no structures that old in the USA except the cliff dwellings and ruins in the Southwest!! When we jokingly mentioned investing in the house’s rebirth, she estimated no less than $200,000 US dollars would do the job. That's quite an HOA she has to answer too!! I know that, now, much of the work has been started, and I can't wait to see the final results in another few years!

The Bazurli house, now divided
for three families

The homes of all the other cousins in Mocaiana are no less historic. Like Lilo's home, many have been renovated and added to many, many times. All have beautiful "bones"; structures build of local stone and marble, that have been expanded to house more than one branch of a family comfortably and with grand style. I loved seeing the past gifts of American relatives proudly and prominently displayed alongside of local family heirlooms. The ties that reach across the ocean are profoundly felt. We sometimes forget that though we live our daily lives in quiet ignorance of our own heritage, those who were left behind have never forgotten their long lost relatives.

The three patron saints of Gubbio:
San Giorgio, Sant'Ubaldo and
San Antonio

LA FESTA DEI CERI – CRAZY IS AS CRAZY DOES!

One of the most ironic mistakes we made in planning our trip was that we missed the town's biggest cultural event of the year by just a couple of days! La Festa Dei Ceri was being held that next weekend. If only we'd payed closer attention to local events—we had to meet our daughter in Macedonia on a specific date and couldn't change our plans. La Festa Dei Ceri is huge in Gubbio—some liken it to the Superbowl in America. In fact, some years the attendees number in the hundreds of thousands. It is an 800 year old festival held in celebration of the lives of three of Gubbio's Christian patron Saints, yet has roots in Umbrian/Etruscan culture dating back before the birth of Christ. It is so big, that descendants of Gubbio who emigrated to America in the early 1900's have their own version of La Festa Dei Ceri in Jessup, Pennsylvania. The Pennsylvania WVIA public TV station has even made a very nice documentary about it—of course I ordered four copies!

Since Steve is naturally a team oriented kinda' guy, he got all excited about the friendly competition amongst Gubbians and their three patron Saints in preparation for the Festa. Colorful standards were hanging from all the windows of the homes announcing allegiance to that family's favorite Saint. Steve headed out to one of the little boutiques one morning and came back with a five-foot standard for San Giorgio, patron saint of crafts and tradesmen, and the family favorite of cousin Stefania.

When cousins Liviana and Guerriero heard about this, it was immediately suggested that we should change our allegiance! They of course, follow San Antonio, patron saint of farmers and students. But, Steve felt San Giorgio fit us better—he has built a few small dwellings in his time, and laid a brick border in our yard! We suggested that our daughter—who was planning a visit a few weeks later—could be a follower of San Antonio. She’ll be a student of something all her life! And she grew strawberries and tomatoes once, and has the greenest thumb amongst her roommates—this qualifies her as a farmer, no?

Sant'Ubaldo - patron saint of Gubbio

IT'S A CANDLE PARTY, SILLY!

But of course, the main guy—the Saint who always gets to the finish line first—is Sant'Ubaldo. A saint in life and a saint in death, Bishop Ubaldo Baldassini's "miraculously" well preserved body sits in a glass coffin in the church on top of the hill of Gubbio. I saw him when I was a kid, and thought it was some sort of Disney-like trick. But it's not: Steve and I visited the church and saw him again in his glass case! I don't have a theory on why he's still there and not dust by now, but whatever the reason, the people of Gubbio get pretty worked up about him once a year! On May 15, they form into three groups of men and run with three 900 pound "candles" (ceri) on their shoulders around the town and up the hill. It takes many hundreds to do this in relay-like shifts, with the remaining onlookers cheering them on. The celebration is rich with tradition and meaning and the townsfolk are very passionate about the race up the hill. It's no wonder that other people in Italy looked at me funny when I told them I was headed to Gubbio! There's even a tradition that says if you run three times around a special fountain you will be certified crazy by the local consul, with a signed document to prove it upon your return back home.

The Festa dei Ceri pre-festival dinner for San Giorgio

Me with Alberto Panfili, his wife Maria,
and his daughter and grandson

A very fuzzy photo of me, Stefania
and Lina Panfili

More cousins - Alberto and
Fancesca Pinna with Viola and Fagio

We didn't skip out on the entire crazy event, though. One evening we gathered at cousin Stefania's house in Gubbio for a light snack including my two favorites, prosciutto and crescia (how did she know?). Then we were taken to a pre-festival gathering of many hundreds of people crammed into the small streets of the ancient town. Food was being served in little paper boats, and the mood was very upbeat! Being that it was May, the weather was cool and pleasant, and we didn't mind the crowds at all.

Adriano locks me in a choke-hold hug, with
Fabio, Daniella, Adamo and Giuliana Bei

Our stendardo di San Giorgio
will fly the entire month of May

In fact, both Steve and I felt an immediate affinity for these people, though we didn't understand everything that was said. We met lots of nice, welcoming folks everywhere we went; many were related but many more were not. In fact, that was the overriding theme for our entire stay in the countryside of Umbria—we received welcoming, warm embraces everywhere we went! It's hard to say no to these people, and, if the stars line up in our favor, I'll bet we'll be going back very soon!

Catch Up Time

I have been a bad blogger. Sure you’ve heard it before, but it has been an eventful couple of years, to say the least. I’ve needed time to process and think before I could just regurgitate events in a way that didn’t sound like I was having a rousing pity party over here. (All pictures can be viewed larger when clicked.)

To round up the events in our lives for the past year and a half as briefly as I can:
Jan. 2005 – I officially become the Main Squiggler, with Robin Reynolds as Head Noodler at our new ad agency, NICE Creative. We don't want to be the biggest agency, just the most preferred.

Feb. 2005 – Mom has her last brain surgery to fix one last veinous anomaly, and starts having epileptic seizures as a result. Remember, she fell and sustained a traumatic brain injury (TBI) on Fathers’ day, 2004.

Mar. 2005 – Dad is diagnosed with esophageal cancer, and has immediate, radical esophagectomy. He is placed into an induced coma for more than three weeks after surgery due to extreme factors that take too long to explain here.

May 2005 – Dad is released from hospital, with feeding tubes and home care required by family. We start trying to talk him into seeing an oncologist, with no luck.

May 2005 – After one week at home, Dad gets to go back to hospital emergency room with a 103 degree temp. He’s in for another three weeks. Finally goes home in June.

July 2005 - We go back to Castroville to visit a more independent Dad and share some hot dogs and tater salad with stepdad John’s family in Santa Cruz. Dad seems a little stronger, more upbeat and this is much needed down-time for us, felt great. Tom and Joy Parker are great hosts, too.

Aug, Sept, Oct, Nov, Dec 2005 are spent trying to build the NICE Creative agency with Robin, getting back to a normal life, watching and praying that Mom and Dad will keep getting better, helping out with the recovery of both as needed.

Dec. 2005 – The NICE offices are robbed! Computers and work and some weird items disappear into the night. Work has to be redone, security upgraded, trust rebuilt.

Jan. - Mar. 2006 - Steve builds a humongous barbeque island in the backyard. Actually we call her the “Queen Mary,” she is quite large. He goes on to make legendary grilled meat dinners.

May 2006 - Rene graduated from ASU, had a great trip to Germany and Italy in June and went on to apply and make it into Rutgers for her Masters in Public Administration with an emphasis on International Community Development. (What a mouthful!) She’ll be leaving for Camden, New Jersey on August 30, 2007. And right after she’s done in New Jersey she hops off to only God knows where with the Peace Corps. It’s only just now dawning on us that she’ll be gone another three years!

July 2006 - Steve and I fulfill a long-time dream and travel to Europe. Touring 2 weeks by rental car through Germany, Slovenia and Italy was memorable, educational, fun, nerve-racking, trying, hot and sometimes downright frightening. But, we did it, will always remember it and learned a lot--about the countries we visited and about our patience and navigational skills, too. :-) We stayed in small B&B's and penziones in the country-side and wouldn't have done it differently. (Except maybe next time we'll take a bus tour in Italy, instead.) My favorite new saying, "autobahn, schmautobahn!"

August 2006 - Stacy and I attend the Bei-Tottino-Bei Picnic in Soquel, CA. See the previous post!

Sept. 2006 - Dad’s cancer comes back big time. He has finally agreed to meet with an oncologist in Monterey. Dr. John Hausdorff is a great guy--we love him.

Nov. 2006 - The inevitable happened: Dr. Hausdorff tells Dad he's eligible to enter the Hospice program. With myself and my Aunt Betty as primary caregivers, we trade off days of the week as Dad's health, strength and weight slips quickly downhill. Strangely enough, as his body weakens, his mood strengthens. I wouldn’t trade back the time together with him for anything.

Thanksgiving 2006 - Betty, Dad and I are invited to our cousins' house in Santa Cruz for Thanksgiving. This is the first time I've been there for Thanksgiving and Claudie and Jon are experts (of course, they own a restaurant!) We got to see lots of folks we haven't seen in a long time, especially some of Claudie's relatives–she grew up in the Santa Cruz mountains near Bonny Doon. It was a great opportunity to get Dad out of the house to visit his cousins. He was exhausted but happy that he had gone. And having a chance to see Monica and Mike and Marcie and Mark and the new baby Lucas was a wonderful Thanksgiving treat!

Dec. 2006 - In spite of being gone so much, our NICE little ad agency survived it’s second year of business. How’d that happen? Yay for Robins sheer strength of will!

Dec. 2006 - Steve sold many barbeques throughout the winter, thank goodness. Mike and I convince our families that it's time to spend Christmas with Dad. It proves to be tiring for him, but he truly appreciates having the whole family there: Mike, Jessica, Adam, Karen, Joe and Addie, and myself, Steve, Rene and Stacy. Uncle Maurice and Aunt Betty came down, too. It was a house-full, but wonderful to be together.

Jan. 17, 2007 - Mom fell and sustained yet another massively traumatic brain injury. Worse than the first one. Horrifying deja vu ensues at the emergency room (for us that is; her memories are shot yet again).

Jan. 25, 2007 - Dad passed away quietly at home. Mike and I rushed to get there just in time to join Aunt Betty and say goodbye. Meanwhile, our step-dad John and sister Lynn were left in Phoenix to endure harrowing days in the hospital with Mom.

Feb. 1, 2007 - We hold a beautiful Celebration of Life for Dad; 430 of his closest friends and family attend! It was the way he would’ve wanted it.
 
Feb. 3, 2007 – Our families spread Dad’s ashes at his favorite duck blind at the Salinas Duck Club in Gustine, CA. Afterwards our little crew enjoy a toast to him at his favorite Duck Club stop-over in Santa Nella, CA – "Pea Soup Anderson’s". Thanks for joining us Linda, you were his lifeline and I can’t imagine you not being there for these last moments.

End of Feb. 2007 - Mom is released from the hospital with months of work and rehabilitation penciled on the calendar. Little did we know how tough the second go ‘round would be for John!

May 12, 2007 - Stacy graduates from NAU with a 4 year degree in Social Work. Wow! With all that was going on at home she stayed focused and on course. I'm so proud of her I could burst!

Mother’s Day 2007 – Four families all converge (hee hee...converge...vortex), at the Sedona Airport for brunch, and Mom celebrates her first day trip out of town with John and the Vette. She’s doing remarkably well for someone who has bruised much of the frontal lobes of her brain—TWICE!

May 2007 – Rene takes a temporary position at the NICE agency and Robin’s husband’s business, Utility Strategies Consulting Group, as Admin Assist and Analyst until it’s time to go to Rutgers. We certainly enjoy her company, her wit, her skills and will miss her immensely when she’s gone. What a great person she’s become!

May 18-20, 2007 Rene and I take a quick trip to Castroville for the annual Artichoke Festival. What a beautiful weekend it was—we got to work in the fried artichoke booth, and probably ate more than we sold! Rene and I discovered a new grilled artichoke recipe that was great. Click this link to download a PDF of the recipe.

April-July 2007 – A housepainting project is turning into a whole house cleanup and redo for Steve and I. Steve got a new High-Def TV out of it, but this will take some time for sure! We are incorporating memorabilia from Italy which Dad brought back from his trips. I especially like the handpainted ceramics from Gubbio and Deruta.

June 2007 – NICE Creative publishes its first book, “Life to the Max: Maxims for a Great Life by a dog named Max.” We are exploring more publishing options, but it’s kinda’ fun. This is a great book for anyone who’s ever loved and lost a beloved pet. Writing it was Robin’s way of working out her feelings for the loss of her dog, Max, and she shared it with me when our Gina died. We hope it will help many others as well.

June 2007 - Stacy applied and made it into a graduate program at ASU for her MSW. She’ll be doing her internship at Flagstaff hospital and attending classes in Phoenix—way to test your mettle, Stacy!

July 28, 2007 – A young cousin marries her sweetie in Monterey, and we stay at Dad’s house for the weekend. It’s a wonderful family reunion, and we are doing our best to get used to Ray not being there.
Following are some photos from Katie and Bryce's wedding and the get togethers at Michelle and David's, and Hugo and Delores' homes.

The wedding was held at a beautiful hotel in Monterey, with the ceremony held right outside next to the breaking waves. Michelle and David looked so proud of their youngest daughter. Bryce and Katie had done a great job, and the dancing and food were the best! Our cousins in Italy were able to attend the wedding. In the group photo above, clockwise from left to right: Norman Bei, Adamo Bei, Michelle Pecci (mother of the bride), Enio Bei, Patty Cook, Maurice Bessiere Sr., Elisa Bei, Lidia Bei, Daniella Bei, and Betty Bei Bessiere.

There was a buffet lunch at the Pecci's house on Sunday, where we got to say our farewells to Katie and Bryce who were heading home to Fresno and to pack for their Carribean honeymoon in a month. Les, Michelle and Karen were able to talk their dad into playing his accordian for the crowd. What a show! Story is that back in the early 50's all the young cousins decided they would take accordian lessons together; my Dad, Norman, Hugo, and Lance Bei were all involved. Hugo's the only cousin who made the lessons stick! (Click his picture abov for a very short movie clip.)

The next Monday night after the wedding, Mike, Jessica and I were invited to dinner at Hugo and Dolores' house. They surprised Mike for his 50th Birthday with a cake! The entire Italian entourage had shopped for just the right dessert. Usually shy, Michael was very touched. "Saluto, Mikey!"

August 8, 2007 – Rene and Stacy fly to see Aunt Lynn and Uncle Dwight (who have there own eventful timeline to publish some day) and have a great time in Pentwater, Michigan. The girls join Lynn in a parade, go sailing, pontoon-ing, shopping in Ludington and meet the puppies Charlie and Flabby Abbie! Thanks for sending for them Lynard. They brought back a lot of great tales!

August 2007 – The NICE Creative agency is moving along nicely, Robin’s book is on the way to being published on a larger scale, Stacy’s getting ready to start school, Rene is packing and slowly saying her goodbyes, and Steve and I are counting our blessings, one by precious one.

OK. And so... When it’s all written out the good stuff kind of balances out the tough stuff--don't you think? It feels as though two different lives were running in two tracks side-by-side; one with all the good things, the other contained the sad things. We are left with Dad’s house in Castroville, which we'll have to sell someday, but we’re in no hurry as Mike and I are very attached to it. Being trustee of the family trust keeps me busy on weekends--keeps me in touch with Castroville. Steve is calling Dad's house our "Summer House" in the meantime. Castroville will always hold a deep and personal place in my heart, and summer was when I spent most of my time there growing up. So it seems a fitting title. We hope to visit often--not just summers.

If I've skimmed too much or forgotten an important event (for our family, not the world!), please add a comment. I want to hear your thoughts. Life has become increasingly more precious, especially the part spent with family and good friends. It's difficult to catch up on events after so much time is lost. I'll try to add photos to the posts if possible. So keep coming back!